THE LOSS Life changes when you see a pair of pink lines on a pregnancy test strip. If it's good news, your Life becomes a 38-week countdown to holding your future, safely swaddled in your arms. You read books, you post sonogram pictures on the fridge, you make plans for a nursery, you put your name on child care center waiting lists. You don't plan for the doctor to tell you your future has no heartbeat. You don't plan to deliver a baby who will never open his eyes. You don't plan on Coming Home with an urn of ashes instead of a bag of diapers. Before my son died, I had every hope -- and worry -- of being a good mother. As a 35-year-old single journalist who found herself unexpectedly pregnant, I knew I needed to get the word out to friends and Family early on to see how I could pull it off. Within an hour of the first phone call there were eight members of the "tribe" in my kitchen helping me figure it out. "Boo Boo" Was christened -- "it" or "baby" didn't seem right -- and the wild ride began. A constant loop of - More available
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